Back of the net, or over the top?

Wel, the boys did it again yesterday. A sterling victory over Swansea see's the Toon sellotaped to the top of the Christmas tree.

You know, there's nothing finer, than watching 48,000 passionate followers lose it for 2 minutes. Have you seen The Young Ones - 'Bambi'? As Scumbag college is introduced by Bambi, the four of them begin to jump about in their seats and throw their arms everywhere? Now I want you to imagine that four, mulitplied by 10,000, and press slow forward on your video recorder. That is what it looks like when Nolan pops one home!!

Don't get me wrong, I love the game, and along with my brother and friends, used to be the proud owner of a seat in level seven heaven. The air in the atmosphere was thin, but that didn't stop the fun. But I just think, having started to grasp the responsibilities of an adult, that the euphoria displayed when a football player scores, no matter where, from here to Australia, is a tad too far!

Foe example, when I win the lottery, or when I am released from prison after 20 years, I will exert any amount of emotions and be wholly justified in my cries!

When Alan Shearer scored one of his many goal s four years ago, me and another 48,000 nut jobs would adopt the following behaviour..................

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, Y' BASTARD........ F**KIN GEDDIN MAN Y' BASTARD!"

This woluld be shouted whilst jumping around like a complete lunatic, hugging a married friend, turning to someone you've never met, shaking two fists at him/her and shouting at them, then repeating the above line again. Once things started to calm down, we were then expected to point at the two thousand away fans, give them the 'v's, call them shit, make wanker gestures to them, and telling them they're going home in a geordie ambulance. It was also prevalent when playing West Ham, to inform these poor sods they were going to be set on fire.

It is my onion, that things need to be chilled in this department of the beloved game. No wonder wars start with idiots like us governing countries like Iraq!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dptcFUXgW3M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKVMo0K9u_s

As I said in my interests, I also like to make comments on a football forum, but not on football, just general chat. I made a comment recently, which to my amazement, was greeted with almost complete agreement, and those who weren't sure seemed to come round. This was a sort of one off for me. My onions are normally treated with desparity, ridicule, and incessant mockery. If a filing cabinet existed for onions, mine would be forced to the back of the bottom drawer, which is always nearly impossible to open anyway. Can you offer an argument? The subject is 'Pet Hates' btw.....

People who open a new tub of marge, peel back that foil/paper seal thing, apply their chosen amount of margery, and then replace the foil/paper thing. WHY??? WHAT PORPOISE DOES THAT BIT OF PAPER SERVE? IT CAN'T OFFER ANY EXTRA DAYS OF 'USE BEFORE'!!JUST BIN THE THING! IT IS BOTH A HINDERANCE, AND A FAFF!

About Me

This is my first submission, so here's a little bit about me.................

Born in 1975, and raised in South Shields, I suppose I've always been moderately popular, and was hardly ever bullied, although, to look at me (6'8" beanstalk) you would assume I was heavily and systematically, on a daily basis after register, attacked, spat on, and for the duration of classes, made by the teachers, to stand in the corner.

I guess my sense of humour (which I believe was inherited from my father) has been a worthy substitute for my appearance.

When I was fourteen, I had an operation to apply a steel rod to my spine, as I had acquired a curvature of the spine. a week being turned over and over on a Striker bed is top notch fun I can tell you!!

From the age of eleven, I was diagnosed with Marfans Sydrome (I have chosen to stay away from any further knowledge than I have now, so keep anything to yourself) symptoms of which, are (above) abnormal lengthening of skeletal structure, easier loss of breath in excersise, and I had to undergo an Aortic Route replacement at 17 (Aorta replaced with plastic valve) as in my condition, life expectancy is little over 30, due to tears appearing in afforementioned.

I have a son called Ben who is two and a half, and the most precious thing in my life. Tragically, he lost his mother, Kathryn to cancer when he was three months. I'm sure that his family and myself, have made his mother proud.

As you will no doubt discover in further blogs, I have a rampant hatred and vile disposition for commercial TV, and reality TV. Let's get the ball rolling eh!!

The next time you go into DFS take a big fat marker with you. When you see a couch with a price card on it saying "£749.... After sale price £1949!!" pick up the card, turn it over, and write "You lot are either conmen, or liars! Which is it?

If they can sell for £749 and still make a decent enough profit to stay in the black, in that case, selling for nearly two grand would be Dick Turpintime daylight robbery. Tell you what! The sale ends on Bank Holiday Monday, before then, pop in, and see how much 'couch x' is. Go back on tuesday (by which time there'll be a new sale) and see if the couch is there for £1949!! Theres the main commercial factor. It isn't a mega saving at all, it's "To good to be true" lies and deceit marketing bullshit! And while I'm on.......... Discounts!

Any fool can create a personal catalogue, containing a 'list price' which is basically a fantasy world price given to 'product A' lets say...... £400 for this coffee table, with a massive discount of 80%!! Don't be fooled into buying stuff because you're getting the deal of the century.. You're getting the same deal you'd get in most other shops. It's the bullshit that varies!!